Cardin Nguyen 
November 20, 2009 have to admit lately I’ve been losing so much weight not eatting correctly. I been staying up lately and taking care of my son during the day. It’s a very tough job realizing its a family effort and not a single man effort. My son Trieu eating habbits are tough. Though it appears that we travel alot but thats not the facts. I actually travel to get help from an old friend. Everyday waking up after programing I take my son to the library and read him books everyday. I bought this life into this world so I’m willing to take the responsibility. It appears easier on TV and shows then it is in real life.
When I’m at home watching my Vietnam and Hong Kong series show while my son watch his Sponge Bobs series I tend to dooze off like the old days before all this mess. Sometimes you sit here and regret hoping you would of made a different decision. But then after watching for a bit I realize if I could turn back time then I wouldn’t know how it would feel right now. So its best to be where we are now. But one thing I do wish is having a romantic relationship. TV/Series sure does dramatize the love which makes us all suck into those episodes. Laying here on the futon watching TV and cries along with the HK series movies sure shakes your heart. I kind of like the Vietnamese series movies more. Vietnamese series movies made in Vietnam. Recently I watched “Ky Uc Mong Manh” which tells about the love stories of 4 couples down to their younger generations. I cried so much not because of what they went through but what they say during the videos. I learned so many things watching the episodes. I see why the Vietnamese words are so deep. Each language has its ways of expressing the way we feel about each other. But what ever nationality you are its best you express your feeling in that language. Though I was raised in United States with the mixture of Vietnamese/Chinese language in me. I find that Vietnamese has alot of ways of expressing ourself. Its deeper and heart breaking them English and Chinese from what I find. A lot of ways to express our feeling in Chinese and English are limited due to words that we use.
“Nguoi việt nam đi vòng vòng cho vui nieu nói thẳng cho là sạo (nối dối). Với lại muốn nói yêu/thích cũng được nhưng phải trải qua một thời gian tìm hiểu nhau đã. ”
The phrase above is one of the biggest mistakes that I made. Expressing myself the wrong way and all the pass relationship I went through never went through a time of understanding except the time with my first love. That’s also the reason why I fall so much. This is one of the reason why I dropped so much weight because of my eating habits.Changing it isn’t easy but with my son on my side helped me change. No matter how hard it is, its easy when my son is next to me. Life is hard when we rush into things. Each time we do that it takes time to find the differences. When our differences comes out all at once will cause a breakup. But if we take the time to find the differences and comprehen, appreciate, and try to fix our differences one at a time then it wouldn’t be so bad. Thats my mistake! I rushed into the relationship with all the money I had in hand making it hard for us both. Then one day when my son came along for an example the hardship starts. Thats when we both see the ugly in ourselfs and apart it beome. Thats why his phrase below are so important to my life now. The VN series made me realize this too.
Ok Guys thats it for this journal. The moral of this journal is the expression that we express ourself is important in stabilizing a perfect relationship. So don’t wait and let the opportunity pass by.
Background Song: “Hai Bong Hinh -Duong Thai Long” – for 11/20/2009 I choose this song because of the rush we are in. Rush relationship always fail and cause a lot pain. Its better we take everything slowly to understand. Watching Vietnamese made in VN series movies made me realize how important it is for Tuoi Tre nowadays to express our feeling and using the appropriate words to express ourself. Each time we fail to choose we lose a couple of years in our life. Thats why I’m here. Been in 3 relationship and each relationship costed me 4+ years.