Cardin Nguyen 
August 10, 2005Dear journal,
its early in the morning in the lonely living room. Its about 2 am according to florida time. Its very hot right now with this sheevering heart of mine still pounding like a hammer slamming against this heart every beat.
well anyways lately its been very hot here in Florida. Every day I’m getting massive phone calls at work but I honestly want to shut down the phone and have some peace to myself but it appears to be very hard at this moment. Today as I pick up a friends brother and sister at the airport. Every moment of it was like speaking infront of a thuosand people. This feeling that I lost years ago now its coming back to haunt me this remaining night but who is here to hear me in this living room with the cold chilling air blowing down toward my head.
Ahhhhhhhhhh…….. <— yup thats it thats how I feel at this moment.
As the glowing statue walks out of tampa international airport took my breath and concious away from me. The past days I thought I knew what I was going to say with full confidence. But I guess I was wrong. After years of training myself and these schooling doesn’t really help. Theres always that one route that still traps me till these days.
But I guess theres no hope to retain this feeling for the rest of my life. but dreams and hopes never really come true in reality. The only thing that we can grab is our aspects of life. This is my life here ……..
on the other hand my step sister (not step but just that I consider her a sister) getting marry in few days and I have no idea if I’m able to make it. I feel really sad. But I’ll try my best to make it….
well anyways time to head off to bed. or atleast fake it.
Cardin Nguyen