Addictions: Mocular Xar

  Cardin Nguyen        April 4, 2009

After Invincible AznX was banned from rubera for massive macro-spear training! I decided to start a new character called “Mocular Xar” in 2004 I believe (sorry dont remember dates – its too far back)

Mocular Xar was created on Solera with families that left wtih me from Rubera. Invincible AznX followers came along and created new characters.

The Xars family came into power as soon as Solera was release. Mocular became well known through out the server and was once again the Top pally of that server within the first week the server was release.
What I meant by top Pally is top DISTANCE. While everyone was 40+ levels ahead of Mocular Xar. I kept training and training and training.
Continue reading →

Education Why is it important

  Cardin Nguyen        May 29, 2008

Journal,

well I don’t how to start this journal so I’ll just attach an email I sent to WWU teachers and we’ll consider that my journal entry.

Cardin
—

Cardin Nguyen <cardins2u@gmail.com> Sat, May 24, 2008 at 5:55 PM
To: Joan Ullin <Joan.Ullin@wwu.edu>, Lawrence Estrada <Lawrence.Estrada@wwu.edu>
Cc: president@wwu.edu, mbuckland@osd.wednet.edu, midori.takagi@wwu.edu, jalonso@osd.wednet.edu, aholtcam@osd.wednet.edu, rreinemer@osd.wednet.edu
Joan & Larry,

Hi Guys! Well I’m typing this email to share my experiences in the real world. I decide to type to you both to due to the fact that its practically the same email that I will be typing so decide to combine the two emails. I graduated HS in 2002 and head of straight to college. With all the family expectation that I had burden on top of me I had a tough time on school trying to be that eldest son while maintaining my mix identity. First I have to apologize for my bad grammer, but I’ll try my best to tell this experiences I have and hope you guys would help me complete my education and guide me to that paper that the real world asked.
In 1985 my father and brother sailed to United States leaving my mother, my little brother, and I behind. A few months later my brother die in Philippines due to a seizure. There then my father gave up and couldn’t continue any further without a friend to cuddle. My father refuse to continue and asked to be returned to Vietnam where the Vietcong jailed him for a year and half teaching him the communist ways. After my father being release, I was only 3 1/2 then when my father decided again to sail to United States once more with me. With the cross eye and one lazy eye that I have its the once chances to give me a near complete dream of all parents. At 3 1/2 still learning how to walk my father lied to me that we’re going to Saigon to buy me a toy gun. To a child at that age in a country with no such thing as freedom back then it was a dream come true. After many months on the boat to Philippines I was upset. My father said that everyday I would ask him about the Gun that he promises. He kept replying “We’re almost there son, I’ll get it for you tomorrow as soon as we’re there (apologize for the translation. Its hard to translate a complete language over to English).” One day I was so tired of waiting and took all the slippers and sandels and threw it into the deep ocean while my father stood there and cry. I now finally realize why I see these dreams from time to time when I sleep.
To make a long story short and get to the point of this email. After being in United States while we get the welfare and medicare that was provided to us in this country. I was given a opportunity that I failed to realize. While going to school and trying to adapt to the new languages leaving my own behind. My father in the background was working overtimes and under the tables to save what his low income can save up. Partical his money was sent back to Vietnam for my mother and brother while the other part was save up for my education. After many years in the United States education system (14 years to be exact) I have lost completely my identity and redefining myself as “American”. I have lost everything while trying adapt to this culture.
My grades is the best proof that I have to show how I have lost my identity. During middle school and first two years of high school I was getting A’s and B’s. As time progress I was affected by the teens years and the media. I began to slack off and see others alternative to schooling. Steve Jobs, Billl Gates, and many other out there haven’t received their degree yet and still make billions and million of dollars. I of course can do the same.
As soon as I got out of Capital High School in Olympia I chose Western Washington University because it was far from home. YAY 3 hours away! By now I was tired of my father yapping about this and that; things that I could not understand at that age. While at Western I attended classes that I could get my hands on from computer sciences to communication classes wasting my father earnings and financial aids money. Lets stop here and define waste. I wasn’t wasting anything while taking classes, but I was wasting because I wasn’t studying as much I use to be like high school days. I was wasting because last minute habits. I was wasting because most important of all C’s, D,s and F’s are all I can get in college. Even though I thought those grades were failure but each grades I got I came out with a hidden experiences that are used in real life.
Now its 2008, six years have passed while my friends from high school all graduated from community college and universities leaving me here. I have tried many times to recommit myself to school but it always failed because of my addictive habits. Its like a drug to get into a particular habits while in school. I’m not attending any clubs or any activities that keeps bring my lazy habits back. Its over a year now that I have stopped school and realize the important of it.
The last 12 months out of school I have been trying to search for jobs that I like. Its impossible to get jobs you like with human services, computers related, or even American Cultural related work. Everywhere I applied to I always get emails and letters back saying theres another aplicant who’s better off than I am. Each application that I submit is like a bullet that shot me down. Finally I got a job at walmart, a place that gave opportunities to people. A great place I must say after working there for awhile but I can’t imagine myself doing this job for the rest of my life. I can’t be stuck here because I have lost the thrive to fight for more experiences. I sit here and ask myself what happen to the love to studies during elementary and middle school? What happen to all those dreams? Everyday at work while placing merchandise on the shelves I ask myself a new question. Finally one day I asked myself “Why is education so important to one’s identity?”
This question started me. I want to go back to school because of this. This is when answers from classes that I took with Larry and Dan Rowe classes. Identity isn’t given back to us. Identity is left with ones concious to fight to obtain whats lost. Everyone is going through the processes of growing up like I am. I’m so close to being done with school and I cant complete it? Its insane to give up an education. The last years I have been watching my co-workers and friends fighting to make their life better. Getting better jobs, getting experiences and doing things that they love while I’m here doing the same things over and over. Slacking off and doing what I have to do only. I finally realize that all the classes that I took didn’t go to waste whether I failed or pass the classes. I was identifying myself and who I am from every classes I took. It got me closer to my identity while studying others identity. Every classes I tooked gave me a hidden knowledge that I could use in the real world. A great example would be my Uncle Vu Chau in Olympia who asked me to help him 2 weeks at his work Van Dorm (Real Estate Office). You’re probably asking why would Real Estate have to do with knowledge? It has to do everything. From sales to finding ones failure to do a better job. My uncle just wanted to sell houses and make commission off the house. Thats when I realize 1 house these agents are making 4k+ depending on the sales price of the house. Having bad morals and telling lies at work isn’t a good way to make sales (Accounting 101 class). A white guy came in to ask Vu Chau to help search for a house that would have that best define his identity. He wanted a perfect house that doesnt face north. My uncle neglect to to see why its important to this white man that his house isnt facing north. Thats when one day I ask why is it important and he said that its because of his identity (Midori’s Black History classes).
From the real life world experiences that I have encounter over the years. I have added on more knowledge that would help make daily decisions and thrive for a better life. A year ago I gave up school and decided to head off to work only becuase Western Washington University wasn’t teaching me anything. Its alway’s the books that we have to read that teaches us everything. I could save thousands of dollars by self teaching my self what these weridos (teachers) who gives us grades. This was an immature and bad way of thinking. Its a huge mistakes and hidden knowledge that I didn’t see. I always remember my kindergarden teacher Ms. Swans and first grade teacher Ms. Huhta. What changed me? Its because I have lost my identity.
Education and finishing my degree is important to me. Though its a sheet of paper that proves that I have gone through all the requirements to recieve this “Bachelors”. Its more important to me to continue to learn everyday that knowledge that comes back to help me later on in real life. I’m writing this email to ask for help and excuse my laziness over the years. I’m writing this email to apologize all the teachers that I have attached this email to that I have been slacking. I am writing this email to most important of all explain why education and getting the degree would help everyone. Sorry to all the teachers that I have failed to get better grades. Sorry to the teachers that saw more in me and tried to help but I failed. I’m also writing this email asking for help. I want to head back to school. I like to know the steps I head to take to head back to school. What I need to do to attend Western Washington University to optain that 50 credits left that I need to finish and bring the remaining knowledge along with me to help me in the real world. This day on a promise that I will fight to keep is to finish that degree. As a thanks and regards to all the teachers who have invested hours in me for a better education.

Again thanks for your times.

Current Program
Bachelor of Arts
Level: Undergraduate
Program: BA-Humanities & SocialSciences
Admit Term: Spring 2007
Admit Type: Standard Admission
Catalog Term: Fall 2007
College: Humanities and Social Sciences
Campus: Main Campus
Major and Department: American Cultural Studies, American Cultural Studies
Academic Standing: Good Standing

Trong Nguyen (aka Cardin)

P.S. I hope all the teachers that I have attached would send this email off to other teachers that I have over the years. Alot of the teachers have retired and its impossible to find them in schools site directory. Its just an email to apologize and explain how important an education to a child growing up. A time investment that all the teachers have put in me. A mistake that I could have avoided but failed to. Thank you.

~~~ Cardin Nguyen ~~~
http://www.cardinnguyen.com
cardin@cardinnguyen.com
cardins2u@gmail.com
Cell: (360) 259-6611 (Olympia #)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Abandon

  Cardin Nguyen        March 25, 2008

Finally at last I received an abandon letter from my own brother. If he wanted to abandon me then its fine. I lived this far and if I’m going to be abandon by my own brother because of his car being taken back then let it be.

He ask me to stop talking with him so I’ll do what he wishes. Life is just like that.

Sometimes own family members stab each other because they are done using each other. Same like life, some time you meet the wrong people and wrong person. When they are done using you they’ll just stab you in the behind. But still theres plenty of people out there that are true tot he heart.

Well thats my story of the week. It doesn’t matter where you are in the world theres always conflicts. Being innocent stepping into the world is the best thing. We rather see the cuteness in the world then the ugliness.

As I started my life in college and begin to see the real world. It gets sick as we try to understand why the things happen the way it does. Every night you lay back and see TV commercial selling products that enhance the fact. Telling people that they could make million when they buy the product. Its only $29.99, $199, $299, $499, so on is all false. If everyone can get rich easy like that then there wouldn’t be a different between the rich and the poor. Life is just like that. Theres plenty of people that trick each other to gain benefits for one.

Once they are done using you they tend to abandon you. I was a victim of it. Flogao promised a 25% of the website when sold, but the owner took all to himself. I started meadd.com as a 1/3 of meadd.com and I was abandon after it got its success.

And now…. my own brother abandon me because of own life difficulties. He has his reason to be slacking all his life…hope one day he can take a breath and understand what I have to go through being the oldest in the house.

Sometime you just wish……just wish that my older brother hasn’t die so he could take on the burden of being the oldest.

I’m meant to be the middle brother not the oldest….

Yours.

Cardin Nguyen

The Niche of Time

  Cardin Nguyen        February 5, 2008

Time, it plays a big role in our decision making….

Sometimes when I sit here and look back the time I realize I made alot of mistakes. Sometimes I rush myself in search for someone to hold and cuddle. As you walk through the mall seeing others walking together as couples with those smiles on their faces. You could never knew that they have the same issues you have behind those smiles.
Sometimes, you wish you can turn back time and sit back and not rush into time. I wish that sometimes I wouldnt have pick the bad wife/gf. I’m in the stage of getting a divorces. I realize I picked one is so materialistic. Realize all the money I make isnt in my pockets but into gambling. Oh my god shes a gamble freak. She doesnt work and stay at home and take care of Travis/Trieu and ask for 100 bucks every day. I’m on the verge of killing myself, onces again “My Life on Earth” yelling to myself with no one listening.
Now that I got a kid its alot hard to start over. Who would accept that? I’m 25 and getting older so its not easy like everyone thinks.

send me your thoughts, send me your advices.

Onces again I made a wrong choose because I couldnt hold one person in my arms. Again I’m the one that gave up on my past. There S2 gone in the wind.

Cardin Nguyen

The Planet CAC : Customer Advisory Council (Cac) Augst 28-30, Dumb planet or smart planet?

  Cardin Nguyen        August 30, 2007

Well even though I flew into Huston, Texas late last night, but I enjoy my time here. Meeting imporant people and people who could help my business grow. Ntow After going to this CAC meeting I had a vision of revampin my resellin business to sell ThePlanet Line of servers. I met wonderful people who could make a different in a company. From this meeting I alo notices that thepanet is working hard to sell their products. I also realize the top end of theplanet makes a huge differnt and impact on the whole work.
The Business enviroment is hard to undrestand sometimes but this has cleared my initial questions. Since the merge The Planet got better to some extend. I approve how they work hard to improve Customer services and make Orbit more user friendly, but I disapprove out they are workin hard to make an image. Designin a whooe new TP Office is totally unessescary right now. I believe that Ewin Doug kinda took it too far. When I step in the TP offices in development. I had a werid feeling. Before the meeting I was proud of theplanet trying so hard to make a changes and providing an outstanding product. The walk through the office change the idea and I was asking myself “Why dont they reduce this and that and invest some of this to improve more Tier 3-4 staffs”. So the impressure and external experinces to is TP most important aspects. Also if I could remember Doug Ewin words correctly while he was talking about the Basketball room. Hes trying to make people line up to work for TP and trying to make people like the offices. That is a good approach I guess. I cant always take this negatively. But anyways the show was great. For me as a reseller I want reliablity and can be confidences that theplanet will provide me the customer service that I can resell to my customer + my own support which would make theplanet a great services. Without theplanet bein my backbone I wont beable to provide a services that customer will buy.
Every company has its down and ups. You can litterally read bad impression about the planet on webhostingtalk.com all the time. Its just a natuarally thing in business. Bad post affects a business. Now that even with EV1.NET as a merger . With the massive OS Reload accidents that Ev1 has encounter it create a negative effects. Similar to life. theres a cause and theres the effects. The cause will always be there and the effects may be gone but to people who read popular sites such as webhostingtalk.com it creates a negative effects on users.
The approache that theplanet has changed to make me as a customer and stafff (I see myself as one I guess) reselling theplanet products I have to do the hard job.

a.) I must provide an enviroment that those things that happen with EV1/theplanet in the past wont happen to me.
b.) If I give false promises it will affect my business as a reseller and staff. I will quit reselling theplanet line of servers and keep improving what I can for the servers thats already on the network
c.) Without the planet changing and revamping their customer support and sales tech it will be hell of a hard time
d.) sales dpt is trying too hard to sell their product. With the many people that attend CAC meeting they are all saying similar things. They are saying that the new sales staffs are trying too hard to sale RACKS cabinets without understand the background aspects.
for example:
70 servers to move
73-750 gig servers to move x 2
146gigs-1500
146×70 1500×70 = 10220gigs -105TB
so in all I’m moving roughtly 50+ TB of data from liquidweb to another datacenter.

I’m sitting here dealing with some sales tech that knows I need servers. But they are trying too hard to sell their product immediately but not understanding my needs.

For example Equinix, when I call them up they try their best to undertand and help me design a network that provides me confidences that the move would be sucessful. They alway said that the bandwidth during the move would be free too. Buyin 50MB but they would provide me 1gig while the move is in progress.

These are the kind of sales team that I’m looking for. A little more knowledge in what customers want. Thats the whole point of having account manager. Accuont manager trying to sell TP products. But most important of all they should understand that we’re not using these products for ourselfs. We have to go through our customers then back to TP. So theres this gap of wait time so its hard to make immediately decision, thats why reselling is a diffucut task. If theres a problem we as the provider will get point at. But then customer dont know that. I would point at theplanet for this but then customer point at the provider.
Adding to that show off walk center. TP is tryin to cut off the cost of customer support but then I think its a mistake. Spliting up customer support with the NOC guys is kinda sad. H2 DC that I went today. Theres 2 people working and one NOC command central. Which the impression was theres literally 8 guys working at the dc and now we’re moving some of the customer support out which would leave 1-2 noc guys there? I DONT trust servers with just 1-2 guys there at the DC with thousand of servers there in that DC. If theres 10 servers down. How can one NOC tech work with all 10 at onces.

e.) Competitive prices is what theplanet should loook into. Maybe TP shouldnt look hard into makin a huge revenue margin but look into making the services better That why when Doug took me through the tour I totally lost the impression of TP work after the tour of the powerful Data Center comparable to all the datacenters that I have been to. At the meeting when one of the CAC members suggest that TP should have better competitive prices. Doug said we dont have much margin in the servers.
With this reseller discounts it gave is a better discount as the reseller which makes us want to resell the products. But still comparing to many others services its not there yet. So maybe work with TP a little more on their prices..

f.) maybe as for marketing for reselling. theplanet should proivde content thats easy take able to implement into th reseller website. To be honest, I hate TP new new new orderin system. Its retraded!

g.) over all I hate the rack 1 year contract signing becuase theplanet is placing a 1 year impliment on the reseller. The customer fucks the reseller then the liability is placed on the reseller. the reseller then offiically fucked. So I think its better that all the reseller of theplanet wil probably wait for the v-xconnects.

h.) thats the same thing that tp is having issues wiht. TP is having issues sellin their products. DO they want like 1 account per server. thats hectic. So most of the revenues is generate by US the reseller of TP products. So tp should impose a lighters rules. 1 year contract is gay. Same thing with abuse. If I go write an abuse email on some random picture on ****** which is a major website I have at theplanet. The abuse team would litterally open a ticket and threat that the server would be close. So the abuse team need to be revamped or escallated similar to myspace style or youtube.com style. They get tons of abuse emails but they were able to live.
Over customer before was decent. Now its like gambling. If you call in and if you the correct staffs they great if not then you’re gonna play the tag team.
Quit the money investng into improving the looks of the planet. THEY should invest in more staffs. Even staff that dont have to be at the Dc. Maybe staffs from all over the country or something. Hell I dont konw if that would work but invest i more staffs who can do common Noc things. Call center wont do any different. Moving the call center away from DC is a mistakes. Now the ticket revamp will take longer

heres the sencario:

Caller A —- calls in ask for help
TP A answers and say oh erver is down I cant restart, the noc guys have to go retart.
– ticket get shooted over to noc guys.
– oh my god the noc guys have 100 servers to reboot. 1minute to reboot the server
= oh shit it took me 1 hr and 40 minutes to reboot my server

Hell so much work I think. LEss guys at DC = more problems later on……… Working on customer support but leaving out the main backbone of the system will probably weaken the reliable system. Working to improve is great but removing some already strong aspects of theplane wil create hell for customers in the long run when problems does exisit.

Well thats over all about the input of the merge

Over all the meeting was great. I enjoy meeting cool people out here in the same business that I am in. I hope next time Ewin Doug would create a better timing of CAC meetings.

– Give more breaks!!!!!
– Actually give LUNCH BREAK! I ENJOY MY FOOD!

– maybe 1 more day at the hotel or something so the session is more joy-a-ble then rushing. From what I heard the CAc friends I made said same thing. Doug Ewin is like old school work. WORK WORK WORK!. So hes there knocking and getting us to work work work work. But hell Dougs a good CEO as he barely knows jackswat about hosting business (thats my personel impression), but he can develope a great team who knows what they are doing. I’m impress. Great leader…….

My wife called me everyday telling me about her stomach expanding and tighten every hour. So at the meeting I was totally out of it. Also becuaes I didnt even sleep. Well anyways I gotta get some sleep and hope the days past by fast. Gotta hope the time fly fast so I can come home and be with my wife. I think she’ll be hella piss at me if I’mnot there for my son and her.

Well anyways good night mr journal.

Cardin Nguyen

My Date with Procto Turi’el (John MacConkey)

  Cardin Nguyen        July 13, 2007

My Date with Procto Turi’el (John MacConkey)
Well its been nearly 5-6 years now that I have known a friend who followed me from Rubera, Solera, and now Xantera over the course of 8 years of my Tibian Life. I have decided July 5 to visit this friend.
So I booked a ticket 2 days after thinking of visiting Procto Turi’el. Arrived around 7pm his time. As I make my way out to the baggage claiming area theres this guy in his shorts, tan-ish hat, and hands in his pocket. Instantly without knowing for sure its Procto, I went up and greet him with a hand shake and “Hug” (oh my god, I’m not gay). I stood there and waited close to 30 minutes for my luggage to be spotted. I was getting worried that I have lost the luggage with my 7 pairs of clothes for the 8 days trip in Virginia Beach, Virginia.
Day 1: Die Hard
After a whole day of trying to adapt to the weather with the humidity I was about to suicide myself. I live in the West Coast of United States and its not humid or even hot in the 90’s. But with the humidity that was built over the days it makes it worse. Breathing was very hard. Trying to get in all the oxygen my brain needs was triple the breathing to even get enough. Later in the afternoon getting sick of staying in the house the whole day we decided to head out.
John and I decided to head to the movies “together”. Now notice that word together. We decided to head to Lynden Haven AMC 8 to watch Die Hard new movie. Initially we wanted to see Transformer but it was sold out so we had to wait an hour or so. So we went around the mall and cruise gadgets in “brook store” (a collection of cool gadgets). As we cruise this store, there’s this semi-hot girl….wait I lied, she was hot. Feeling awkward as I pass by her, I turned to john and said..
“Hey John, I feel weird going to the movies with you. Just me and you.”
(looked at john and grinned)
– I made sure I said it loud enough so the hot chick heard what I said.
2-3 minutes later I went over and ask her to the movies and she said “No, I have a bf to go with, if not I might”
(Not sure if she said exact the words but she said something like that.)
Damn I was declined (10 second hurts and it was gone).

Sad story eh? The movie continued…..

So we went to the movies an hour later. Grabbed our seats, then my date for the evening “Procto Turi’el” grabbed some popcorn and drinks for us. As we sat 15 minutes watching Advertisement, suddenly a swift breeze of Victoria Secret scent (Gurantee guys who peek at VS girls sure can recognize this smell) past by John and I. I looked up and there she was, the same girl that decline me walked by.
Sad eh? Hurts to be declined, hurts even more when she sits one seat next to you….but the movie continues…….

Day 2: Golf Lesson with Cigars

In the morning we decided to hit the Golf Course. I never really went golfing before so this experience was a blast. Before leaving Don, John’s father gave me a cigar and asks if I want one. Even though I never smoke or try I said “yes”
Well lets skip the the details of getting to the golf course. But anyways while at the golf course on a 100 degree hot day. I gave up after the 3rd hole. Feeling the sweat and a sweat butt I gave up. I cant stand this anymore so I decided to quit and sit in the golf cart with the wonderful cigar a “taste of being rich” .
Well john taught me how to play golf and how to swing. It was sweet….what a date……. I would post up pictures but then I would probably be ban for it.
Day 3: A cruise at Broad Way with crappy “Seafood”

Today we decided to go Jet Skii but then the weather wasn’t suitable for Jet Ski. So we decided to cruise Broad way down to 9th steet Virginia Beach. After being in Virginia 3 days and some hours I haven’t seen anything to wash my eyes. So we decided to go for a cruise. After talking about business matters while walking along the beach (thank lord he didn’t grab my hands. Or I would cry –jk)
After trying to find several restaurant we settle down with this Bay Seafood Buffet restaurant. The food there wasn’t as great. The bill was 70 bucks and it tasked like crap. Gaaa, I hate it when a restaurant looks great but then the food is bad.
Day 4: A Date at the Beach “Jet Ski”

Well since we couldn’t go ski yesterday so we decided to head it today. Around 2 o’clock we head to the Jet Ski rental 1-2 blocks away from John’s house. After getting there we found out that we had to wait 1 hour or so to even get one. So John wanted to get me “wet” now now, don’t get that wrong. Hahaaha. Well we went into the water and stood there to cool down while waiting for our turn on the Jet Skii.
Well the wait was worth it. Even though we both nearly ran into each other and would of killed each other if john response was as slow as he is on tibia I would have been hospitalize typing this with my two fingers (just like the Radio Shack guy we saw when we went to get Hub so I can access the internet throught Cat 5 Cables. I died 2 times because of it too, Wireless SUCKS, I feel sad for those who plays on wireless).

Day 5: Oh my god, another movie

Well Today it was different, John’s father Don and Denise decided they want to go see Die Hard so asked us to join. Since we already watch Die Hard, John (procto) wanted to see Transformers. So we went to see Transformer. (Great great movie). While buying our tickets we saw that Harry Potter was coming out Wednesday and opening knight is Tuesday 12:01. So we booked the ticket ASAP and relied that we got “Monsters” (energy Drink) to keep our heads awake.

Day 6: A day on the computer

By this time I’m so sick of going out so we decided to stay inside and play tibia all day long and logged at 10 or so to hit the movies for harry potter. On our way there we grabbed 2 can of energy drink to keep our brains awake since the movie is 12 AM ……god I didn’t even know they show movies that late. I mean START movie that late.
Day 7-8

Though the date have seem passed like no other days. I seem to begin to miss my internet at home. I am a computer freak. I designed my mainframe network at home and backup internet to the point that I hardly get any kick. And if I do then its my whole town that’s having the problem and not only me. John tries to scary me everyday that that a storm is coming. This is irritating me that the storm might delay my trip home. (god I miss home)

Final Trip Thoughts:
Well my trip to Virginia Beach Trip was great. After meeting a friend who have been with me 5 years its really nice to know that you can meet great friend over the internet. Tibia has found me two wonderful brothers. Robbie and John wil always be my brother. They have been with me always for wrong or worse we try to make it better.
The reason why I posted my experiences up was just to let you know that friends are everywhere. How you treat people and talk to people is how you are. Friends are easy to make. But finding a good friend is hard. Hurting people is easy as well.
This is also the reason why you haven’t seen me on tibia for the last week as much. My date with procto was rated B+ . Wasn’t a A because you come to the point you barely see any girls around. So makes me wonder if Procto was coming out the closet….hahaha

Well anyways, Make friends not enemy. People will always remember what we have done wrong to them. But People will never remember what we have done to improve things or what we have done to make things better. Its easy on the brain to remember all the bad things that happen to us. But its hard to remember things that people have done for us. Things that people done to you is always will be remember. Things that people have done for us is hard. So Every things we choose make it wisely . Enjoy! See you all in the game

Cardin

Life seem like a Game

  Cardin Nguyen        June 13, 2007

Life is like a game, Playing this game to win or to lose there always a outcome.

Well anyways the purpose of this journal is to tell what happen today. Its a looong day. Everyday the past 3 days I been thinking of Tran and missing her so much.
Today she finally came over and she packed her remaining of her stuff. While she was here she talked me into going over to her house and say sorry so then she would come back and be with me.
At this point journal, I have two optoins. I would do it to keep her with me but then it would violate my person feeling. I didnt do anything wrong except to the fact that I over reacted when she accused me of things I didnt do.

I’m planning not to do this because 1.) it would embrass me and make me at fault completely to her family. 2.) I have no words in anything anymore.

I think I got kidney stones like my father too. Lately been pissing out slightly redish and it hurts like hell.

ahhh so many problems at one time.

Well to continue on what happen, we argued for a bit and she said that if I love her I would go over to her house and knee down infront of her door and say sorry.
At this point I’m refusing to do this. Its my fight and her fight then why do I have to do that. As long as she knows I’m sorry that I over reacted then thats all it counts. I’m not doing this because I am not at fault

You live only once and you die only onces. I’m fighting iwth my conscious right now. One side really want to go say sorry and get this over with and the other side I dont want to do it because its like stepping all over myself to admit that I am at fault everything. The last three years I have been knee down and saying sorry at everything even though its not my fault that lead to the arguments.

And you know what hurts most. She came over and continue to accuse me of stuff. She saw that I packed up some stuff and planning to head to New York to do some business and to visit Anh Long , then John in Virginia. She said that I’m packing up stuff to meet Miss_yeu which hurts alot. While typing this I’m crying at the same time because being accused hurts alot. Now I know how much it hurts and there must be some people out there that I accused in the pass.

What hurts most is that Vinh only called and ask if I want to go camping (cam trai) with him and VSA , BUT I NEVER said YES at all.
And Tran said that I got a wife now and always want to go play. I’m not writing this to ask for freedom. I’m willing to give up this freedom because I love Tran but I disagree that she accused that I just want to go camping with this girl and that girl. A stab in the heart.
Thats how life is, we all faces injustices and blame for litterally if the odds is against you. The odds is against me at this point. Tran doesnt think of how manys and night I have spent with her. The only time that I’m seperated from Tran is the time I’m in school and the rest is mostly in the livingroom working on my computer. I live this life fearing that an old friend would call and ask me to go fishing becuase it would lead to an argument. Thats why I pray everyday when I’m with Tran that not a single friend would call. But my thougths about that is completely wrong. What matters is what my heart thinks.

I’m here to say sorry to all those that I may have accused for things that you havent done. As you grow older you gain knowledge of these kind of things.

Cardin Nguyen