Cardin Nguyen 
October 2, 2009It’s been just a few days now that I guess its about time to update! I been doing really great lately. Without the silence gun held against my head ; I am now a growing man. A man who grew out of his box. I was living under silence abuse.
Lately I consider myself living under what I consider “Silence Puff Gun”. What I meant by that is a gun held against your head with no live bullets.
Each time the trigger is pulled a puff of air enters my brain damaging my brain making it way down to my heart. An pain that is unbearable, but with the power of love I continue chatter my teeth and endure.
Each mistakes I make it has a negative effects on my son. If I don’t listen to my x-wife she would teach him to call me “dog” PUFF… there goes a shot down to my heart and a wrong knowledge entering my son brain.
If I don’t hand over my paycheck exact ammount that’s no different then pulling the gun on myself and damaging my son growing up stage. An automatic gun strapped to my head by my wife. She has the remote control in her hand. Her remote is a human being made of flesh that I’ve took part in making a perfect healthy child. A child that gave me the energy to make it this far.
If I disagree to her wife doings like clubbing or partying I would be punish one way or another. Giving respect to elders is what our traditional values evovles around. If I don’t allow her to party or club then my parents won’t even have a chance to see their grandson. Thats the feeling of pulling the trigger. With the automatic trigger pulling slowly but YOU actually putting your finger on the trigger pushing to pull the trigger to have that PUFF of air enter your brain quick to get it quickly over with so you can give the respect for your parents. You take the pain better then having your son and parents take the pain.
I always wanted a family and remained to do what I read in books. Husband going to work and coming home. I’m a true traditional Vietnamese man who took responsibilities.
Since the Temp Parenting Plan has been enter I spent a lot of time with my son healing together. Though theres a lot of effects that seem pernamently enter his brain, but I hope I can change it over time. Together we hanged out at parks while he plays I listened to two wonderful songs.
1.) Khong Co Lua Sao Co Khoi – Nguyen Chan Phong
a. A vietnamese song that talks about cheating. It talks about how I feel right now. Though it talks the guy cheating but in my case it’s the girl that cheated. After listening this song it helped me accept and let go. I have let go along time now but since I am so adapted to being a family man its really feeling single. But this song really help.
2.) Neu – Noo Phuc Tinh
a. A song that sooth my heart. When I listen to this song I see myself holding my son in one hand walking him down a path that’s better then being with my wife. The fear of being hurt. The fear of being cheated on. The fear of my wife beating on my son. The fear of my wife abusing her powers. The Fear of false hope………… I see myself walking with my son in a path that gives him hope….a path that has a better future …..
Once in awhile I lay back on my bed staring at ceiling wall with my son sleeping on my stomach. It makes me cry. A soft tear runs down my face leaving a stream like a river flowing along the river finding its path to a stop.
Makes me wonder how can people have such a heart to give up everything for money? Why does people use each other. My x-wife just bought a brand new Mercedes Ben while our son is barely making it through. I’m trying to provide all that I can but this sudden kick out of the house left my son and I on a crunch.
Tran Voicemail
http://cardinnguyen.com/downloads/taped/10-1-2009%2010pm-Tran.wma
Synopsis – basically, Tran left a voicemail saying that I shouldn’t take my son on my newspaper route everyday because it’s getting cold. If I do she will bring me to court. She said that I should drop my son over at her house when I go to work and pick him up in the morning. If I don’t do what she wants then she will bring me to court.
Answer – I don’t really care if she bring me to court or not. What’s important to me is I protect my son. I don’t want my son to be sleeping with her because of her threats she left prior. I don’t want her to be sleeping on same bed with my son and her boyfriend. It damage my heart so much and will affect my son development.
What got me really upset was after calculating all the incomes that we made together over the last few years. I realize that my wife makes well over $3,400 a month plus my $2,000 average a month. That’s a whooping total of $5,400 average a month.
Tran
– Income $2,600 every month (weekly pay of $650)
– $40-150 a day (Tips in Beauty she gets average depending on the week load
Monday-Tuesday-Wednesday about $40-60 a day per day tips.
Thursday-Sat she makes around $60-150 per day tips
Total Income: $3,720-$4200 average per month
Me/Cardin
$2,000-2600Total Herald Check Average depends on workload and extra work I take on
$5720 Averages of Trong + Tran
-400 Rent (Her sister pays the other $400)
-400 Mother in law (she helps watch my son so we give that to her monthly)
-500 food in Viet-Wah
-600 Gasoline (WAY over estimate here)
-1,000 Clothing / DIAPERS
————-
$2,820 TOTAL LEFT OVER is what we have left over every month average! Therefore Ngoc-Tran nguyen has been hiding money with her father all along. All my salary I gave to her. So she has been hiding our assets. She calls me and wants me to give my son to her while she goes out and buy a brand new Mercedes Ben with the money that I worked hard for. All these brains playing and abuse is finally getting to me. I finally understand what it means to be abuse and be stabbed.
If she say she loved her son as much she did then why take all the money and hide it. If she hide it for our college funds I wouldn’t be so mad. Instead she went out and used all the money on a new car with her hidden assets.
I have two sides right now!
a.) just let it go and grab custody and get the hell out of this abusing relationship that Melissa made me realize since I met her. She’s like my American mother.
b.) fight for the assets and have it divided evenly with all the debits we owe that way the money we saved will be correctly divided for my son higher education in the future. Also this way child support is correctly entered.
Hmm well anyways enough headache for now.
Either her new bf is paying for everything in exchange for her work; or I’m just being a retarded and over reacting. Who knows! That’s it folks!
Video 3 – Music to my heart & Bua Ngai (Vietnamese Only) – Download
*Sorry guys this video is in Vietnamese only!