Control & Love

  Cardin Nguyen        August 26, 2009

Control
Well first lets start off with what I did today! I had a awesome and relaxing day after talking a few people such as Mike, Anna, and Christine. Very cool people! Anyways I woke up this morning having a lot of back pain sleeping on my friends Futon! I woke up and started my route at 2 am. David didn’t drop off the papers at Liberty Tax till 3:30 am. The wait was painful! The herald is getting worse and worse every day. They are always late on their papers. While waiting I met the Gas Station guy! Every time I bought my son with me I took him into the 7 Eleven and bought Candies , drinks and food for my son. I discussed a little about what going on with my life. Then I remember he could be a perfect candidate . So I refreshed his memory to see if he could remember what I did everyday. After thinking awhile he finally said he remember and then offer to write me a statement. That made me feels really good. Then we exchanged contact info. After that I was so hype to start my route. I finished my route at 5 and went home to sleep for a bit. Then roughly at 5:40 Melissa called and ask if I could give her a hand with the route. I got up and dressed and went over to help her with half of McCloud and Alderwood. It took about 20 minutes for me to do because I did the route like 3+ weeks. I even write numbers on those tubes. Continue reading →

Innocent Trained To Bad Mouth = Bad Mouth Through A Kid

  Cardin Nguyen        August 25, 2009

Today was a really tough day as well. Its been a week now that I haven’t spent more than 2 hours with my son. Also Nuong, my mother in law spoke with me about my son eating disorders. My son is taking a huge beating from this Divorce that we’re going through. During the day with Nuong, she said he doesn’t eat at all. I’m the only one that feeds him during the day so he eats with me. Then at night he eats with his mother through force using a Syringe. My wife trained my son since he was a kid. If my son refuse to do what she wants then she would hit him. She came across a syringe and used to stuff milk down him. I know she do love him dear too, but the punishment that my son has to go is no different from concentration camp. If you can literally imagine how my wife feeds him with the pictures I have attached then you would see how painful it is when you don’t want to swallow but you must because you’re choking on the milk. It’s the same way when you’re forced down poison medicine like in movies we seen or even from stories we read. It’s a sad way to treat someone like that especially your own kid. I wished I had the time to take pictures of my son being cut on the back. I wished I took those shots where my wife hit my son to sleep. But then it would be kind of odd to do that when the relationship gone fine. Continue reading →

Blood Squeezinnng & the pain

  Cardin Nguyen        August 24, 2009

I woke up this morning at midnight going to Bellingham to ask people at the dock to see if anyone willing to type me up a statement that they saw me take my son to work because my wife just doesn’t want to watch over him. I sat there till 1 am and finally came across Don Peterson who saw me with my son a lot of the time at the dock. I asked other dock people but it seem like they don’t want to get involved in the court and family affairs. Quite sad that a lot of people out there aren’t out for justice. But anyways continuing on with my daily life today. It actually helps again that I’m free to type what I want and did today makes me feel happy again. There’s nothing to hide which is a great feeling. I started my routes at roughly 2 am and finished around 4:30 today. Continue reading →

My Wife trying to beat down my brain! Divorce can get Ugly

  Cardin Nguyen        August 23, 2009

Today is such a hectic day! I woke up at 3 to start my route since its Sunday pre-pack. It such a pain putting two papers into one. I nearly ran out of space in my car. I couldn’t put stuff in the trunk because of all my stuff that I had stuffed in since my wife and her dad decided to kick me out. That’s the other regrets I had. When we moved into that apartment they didn’t put my name on the rent. Half way done with my route my two front tires popped. I sat there and waited till nearly 6 till Mike could come help. We made so many mistakes that I swear I wouldn’t have done such a bad job. We finished about 7 and mike drive me back home to sleep. Called: 9:58am ask if I want to come to the divorce signing. If I come then I must agree to her terms. I said that I dont want to come if I have to sign immeidately. I can go if she want me to go if I can get a copy and talk with the lawyer about it. But she refuse. She want me to sign the mutual agreement of divorce right there on the spot. She dont want to pay the attorney (or who ever she is hiring) to come back another day to watch me sign so I must sign on the spot.
Continue reading →

First Day Pain Always

  Cardin Nguyen        August 22, 2009

Waking up this morning wasn’t so bad. I had a pretty good sleep last night. I started my route at roughtly 4:20 after picking up my route. I rushed through my route and finished it by 6. Half way into my route I called Sienna and asked for District 2. It’s closer to where I’m temp staying. Since the threat of calling the police for visiting my son I’m scared to see my son. I knew that today will be a long day so I tried to make the best of it. After work I went home and took a nap till 10. It’s really old I am somewhat tired and want to sleep more but the responsibility of waking up every day at 10-11 over the last two years was still there. Since I couldn’t sleep I pretended its another day with my son. I woke up and made some top ramon with an egg in it to eat. After eating I head to Al Brostrom house and offered my help to fix his computer since he letting me use his cell plan. We sat there and watched the news and discuss what would my son be doing if he was here. He would probably be running around digging through that pile of boxes that Al stacked up for my son to dig. My son earger to learn is my energy to provide and sustain myself. His curiosity of learning fueled me everyday to provide and protect. If my son was here I would probably be feeding him and chasing him around and crawling all over the floor playing hide and seek. SNAP! I guess that imagination is just a daily routine that I’m so use to. I raised the dude from the time he’s a baby up to now. I hanged out at Al house till 1. I closed my eyes for a bit and woke up at 2 and head back home. I slept some more but then couldnt sleep. I woke up and watched Shrek the Third alone till 5:45 till grandma of trieu called. I wonder what happen to grandpa. He doesn’t work today. Over the phone she sound like she is really tired. I guess watching my son nearly all day she sound very tired and need some rest.I know grandma loved my son but since she is so sick how could she take on the responsibility of what I have been giving my son since birth. Tran is killing her mother slowly because of anger of just wanting to cheat government support. Now it makes me think if she really loved her son or because she still want more out of the government. We’re already cheating the government from he real pay already. Now she want the kid not because she love him but because she want medical care and food stamps. That is sad…..but I’m happy that I’m free from it……I just feel sad for grandma. Continue reading →

My Love Life; Battle of Custody; Credit Cards Battle:

  Cardin Nguyen        August 21, 2009

Boy I had a hard time waking up this morning. Sitting here at midnight typing up this jouornal trying to recall your perfect day is quite fun. Working isn’t as easy anymore when you got alot of thinking to do and think about. But even with all this; I tried to make the best of my morning. I woke up at 4am with the alarm buzzing the crap out of my head. I quickly placed on some clothes and ran to Liberty Tax and Lynn St church to grab my papers and start working. While working I decided to give Melissa a phone call and discuss about church life; how to teach my kid if I get custody, dont get custody, or visitation. What ever the ending to this custody I will make the best of it. After talking with Melissa I realize that its always best to provide a good enviroment for Trieu. To being a great parent I now know that having a family providing to a child is differnet. Now if I do get full custody some of the burden is going to double the impact. If I do get custody I will of course teach my on the value of being a Vietnamese and the respect that we have give. First thing I will teach my son is to call me correctly “ba”: “dad”; “father”. What ever it comes down to its better then calling me by my birth name. Second thing I’m going to do is teaching my what I missed. When I got united state on the last boat to America I had a tought time fighting the languages barriers with no father support in my learning stages. Now that I have an opportunity to give my son support on his education. I will always be there to explain any engish terms that he dosn’t knonw. I’ll try my best to explain what vietnamese terms he doesn’t know with the aid of my real father and mother support. I will also be taking classes that benefits my son. Even with full custody I’ll let his mother be a part of his life. No childrens should be withhout mother or father. The lecture and advice that Melissa give has made me realize that the kid is the most important. Whether the joint costody or full costody or even no custody makes no different at all. It all comes down to one point at the end “the healthy of the child”. After thinking about it while throwing papers out the window I realize I’m suitable for the job. My wife want full custody but I cannot give that because when marriages comes to a state where divorce is the only option and no other way we can solve it then it results in no trust. At this point I cannot trust her words due to the lies she made; on the other hands its the same way she feels as well. Therefore fighting for full custody is my last option and hopping to get atleast joint physical custody. I’m glad that my son at this age doesn’t know much of whats going on. I hope that my last 5 days of visting my son will leave an imprint in his head what I’ve done. What I’m afraid is that the fatherhood and the type that I spent with my son every morning to times at work will not be forgot. At such a teender age its really hard to have him remember all this. At this point I realize that life is all about communication. When communication comes to an end its hard to reconnect.
Continue reading →

My Wife Moved On – Jealousy is a Bitch

  Cardin Nguyen        August 16, 2009

On August 15th, 2009 I drove my son to Olympia so he can stay at his grandparents for a week. That night I drove up to Bellingham finding out my wife isn’t going to a birthday party. She instead she went clubbing and was freak dancing with a guy who works at Speedy place.
Well I didnt know this yet but that night I was very very jealous. I called her all night till 2 am but she didn’t pick up my phone call. Thats when I got worried. About 2:20 am she finally picked up. Sound like shes piss because she don’t want to pick up my phone call. Continue reading →

Laziness – Been Long

  Cardin Nguyen        August 11, 2009

Sup Journal,

It’s been a long time since I started to use the computer again. I probably use the computer 10 minutes per day the last two months just to check mail. Been really busy migrating to Comcast and applying for it.

well anyways I’ll try to find more time for you . just a simple and short update so everyone knows what i’m doing right now.